Tinder Chronicles

So hey guys. This will be my first official official blog post. So I’m sure most of you know what tinder is. The reason why I downloaded tinder is because I had just gotten out of a 6 year relationship (which was a waste of time). Anyway, so I downloaded the app right and it was pretty cool to say the least. All of these hot guys you can swipe right on and tons of not so attractive guys you can swipe left on. I learned the best way to get someone’s attention is to have great pics as well as a great about me. I must say however that at times I can be a little full of myself and it was quite evident from my profile. In the end, I had a lot of matches and was excited to try them out (not in the way that you’re thinking). So my first day who I shall give a nickname to was “Too Low V for Me”. So as mentioned I met this guy on tinder and he seemed nice and wanted to meet that weekend. I thought sure why not he seems like a nice guy with a nice body. LOL. Anyway, skip to date night. We meet a bar that was local to HIM. I should’ve taken that as a red flag but hey it was my first dating experience outside of my long term relationship. I got to this bar and it was so over the top loud. I wish I could remember the name so I could tell you not to go there. They had a live band that played the entire time which is actually pretty cool. However, this is not the type of place you go to on a first date. So, I see him walk in and he is wearing a super tight super low cut V neck shirt. His pants were equally as tight. Which I mean I guess can be fashionable to some people. Did I forget to mention this guy is in his early 30s? Too Low V For Me walks up to me and hugs me so tight I can’t breathe which wasn’t a good first impression. He then starts to go on and on and on and on about his self. I learned that he works on a oil rig and makes pretty good money. He then decided to tell me he would be turning 31 and is going to the Aspens with his parents. Which I mean congrats to him because that sounds exciting but I mean with your parents? Also, while he was talking I couldn’t help but to stare at his super thick black chest hair that was curling out of his shirt. I just could NOT focus. After he had his 3rd drink he excused him to the bathroom. Our bartender then took the time to talk to me and he said that he felt bad for me. I asked him why and he said, ” well it’s obvious that this guy is gay”. At that point, i bursted out laughing because i almost got that same vibe but didn’t want to judge the guy. Not that I have a problem with gay people but it was just kinda weird the whole time. After Too Low V For Me came back he brought out his phone and began to show me pictures/videos of his pet dogs. Can you guess what kind of dogs they were? MALTIPOO. Which I believe are incredibly adorable dogs but it struck me as a little strange. So after a while I realized it was starting to get late and told him that I had to work in the morning. He then asked if I could hang out at his place for a little. Which I kindly declined. However, he would not take no for an answer. He began to beg and plead and I started to sort of feel bad for the guy. I then stated sure. I told him I would follow behind him. As I entered my car I thought there is no way in hell I was going back to his place. So, as he turned left out of the drive way I turned right to head towards the freeway. I immediately blocked his number and that was the end of that. First tinder date was very unsuccessful.